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‘We’re all so pleased for him’ – craft distillers hail Ryan Reynolds windfall

Craft distillers everywhere have taken to social media and chat forums to express their delight at Diageo’s $600m purchase of Aviation gin. ‘It’s so heartening...

‘Bartender receives useful advice from forum’ shock

In an unprecedented move, members of Facebook group London Bartenders Association (LBA) yesterday responded to a post from a fellow bartender with concise and...

Vines ‘not observing social distancing’ says extremist group

Extremist drinks pressure group, BARKING (Bigots Against Reason Knowledge Intelligence and Generosity)  has issued a stinging criticism of the world’s grape vines, accusing them...

‘Straight Outta Corton’ clear winner at MOBOs

A team of vineyard workers from Burgundy have swept the board at this year’s Music of Boozy Origin awards. Pickaz With Attitude’s album ‘Straight Outta...

‘We won’t stop at rosé’ warn prosecco producers

Prosecco might just have famously permitted the first rosé sparklers bearing its name, but pink fizz is just the start, according to Angelo Fiatuno,...

Covid of ‘significant environmental benefit’ to wine trade

Businesses might be shut, economies in a tailspin and many hospital wards overflowing, but the Coronavirus has at least had a positive impact on...

Australia’s wineries issue writ against God

Australia’s wine producers have become the first industry anywhere to issue a writ against God. ‘He’s been guilty of anti-social behaviour for a while,’ said...

Lockdown cocktails have ‘killed bartending forever’

The art of finely crafting cocktails has been wiped out by the coronavirus as if it was an 80 year old diabetic with emphysema,...

Must Read

Diageo results shanty ‘The Walkerman’ – live and exclusive!

It's the Q1 results briefing that reset the template. Play along. Sing along. Go crazy. With big thanks to Lee Isaacs - aka Wineman147 for...

Diageo breaks internet after releasing Q1 results as sea shanty

Diageo has become the first FTSE-100-listed company to have its financial results go viral, after the company released them in the form of a...

An urgent announcement from the Ministry of Brexit

With the people's republic of Brexitania having left the EU, the UK no longer has access to the full European alphabet and must now...

Drinks battle for share of the ‘vaccination occasion’

The fight against Covid might be well established, but new battle lines are being drawn up for drinks producers in the ‘leisure inoculation’ space....

New course to ‘help supermarket buyers tell shampoo from Chardonnay’

The team at the Further Education College for Alcoholic Learning (FECAL) have announced that they are to launch a new vocational course aimed entirely...