From the editor: Don’t panic – it’s just a seasonal wry-atus

Video: Rob 'Santa' Johnson

Over the next week, the drinks world, governments and legislators are largely predicted to close down.

Temporarily, we hope.

Admittedly, with some it’s a stretch to spot the difference between working and not. But one way or another the lack of commercial activity from wine, spirits and beer means that the industry’s stupidity emission levels are expected to hit an all-time low.

Sarcasm hibernation

Since Fake Booze is an organism that relies on regular doses of drinks-related crassness, vapidity, naivety and ignorance to survive, it will be taking a short sarcasm hibernation – a wry-atus, if you like – and returning in the new year.

We would like to apologise to all of our loyal sarcasm-addicted readers – and those who have occasionally ended up here by mistake – for the radio silence in the meantime.

On the plus side, we haven’t done what EVERY SINGLE OTHER PUBLICATION has done, and cobbled together a load of absolute garbage for you to read in the intervening period.

We have not created a ‘best six drinks labels of 2020’ or a ‘favourite drinks from our advertisers’ feature.

We have not put up a load of random photos and pretended that it’s the ‘Last 12 months in pictures’, or created a crap quiz.

Frankly, we’re not even pretending that we give a monkeys about entertaining you during this period.

Back on Angeruary 1st

Fake Booze will, instead, be spending most of the next ten days curled up in a corner stocking up on its reserves of bile, ready to re-emerge ready to start shouting at people again in January.

So don’t worry. We’ll be here to remind you just how utterly, utterly screwed everything is when you finally work out how to turn your computer on again in 2021.

If you want to amuse yourself in the meantime, why not work your way through the 100+ stories, vids, animations and memes that we’ve put on the site since we started in mid-September.

Or go to our Patreon page and become a supporter. Since you’ve just spent a small fortune on half a dozen bottles of artisanal spirit we know you can afford it. And… oh, you’ve gone… Sorry. Our mistake. Of course all this should be free.

Anyway, for anyone still reading, stay safe, have a good break and we’ll see you again in the new year.