In recognition of International Women’s Day, Fake Booze is happy to run the following heartfelt tribute paid for by the industry body International Men in Alcohol Production for Inclusivity and Growth (IMAPIG) .
Over the previous hundred years, we men may have given the impression that women were in some way the lesser sex. Useful enough in their way, of course, and generally nice to look at. But not to be taken all that seriously.
Statements such as ‘Can you believe it – the sommelier is a woman!’, ‘These women winemakers are almost as good as men!!’, and ‘How extraordinary to see a woman setting up a business selling WHISKY!!!’ may have inadvertently lead some observers to believe that we felt women were in some way inferior to men; that their looks were more important than their brains; and that the fact they had ever achieved anything at all in the world of drinks was in itself amazing.
While this is in many ways understandable, we would categorically like to put on the record that if we ever did fall prey to thinking like that – and our legal team tell us we shouldn’t admit to it if we did – we now recognise it was wrong.
We are happy to say that women are as professionally capable as men; that it is patronising to treat their success as a source of wonderment; and that their looks, age or weight are, sadly, no longer to be commented on.
If, that is, they ever were in the first place. Which they weren’t.
We would also like to point out that women are just as capable of talking utter balls on social media as men are.
The only difference is that you can’t say anything when they do these days because the bloody feminazis will bring a Twitterstorm down on your head and –
[the rest of this touching tribute has been redacted by Fake Booze’s legal team]