Toe-curling celeb interviews ‘the new us’ warns Decanter

celebrity wines
Graphic: Rob 'Kylie' Johnson

Following the runaway success of its recent Andrew Jefford/Kylie Minogue interview, Decanter has told Fake Booze that it is to introduce the concept as an ongoing celebrity lifestyle feature.

Surprise hit

‘It’s amazing,’ said editor Dec Anter. ‘We really weren’t sure that having a respected, intellectual wine poet interviewing a popstrel who was apparently unaware that wine is made from fruit would work.

‘But since we published it the wine Twitterverse has been talking about nothing else. Especially middle-aged white men who can now safely admit to having once bought a Kylie record.

‘Or, indeed, a copy of Decanter.’

Younger demographic

Described as ‘the biggest mismatch since Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe’, #jefforddoeskylie has been trending on Twatter for four days, while a doctored meme of Michael Broadbent dancing in Kylie’s famous gold hotpants to ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’ has smashed wine-related views on Instagram.

‘It’s really helped us to reach a new, younger audience,’ said Anter. ‘Some of the below-the-line comments for this were from people in their fifties!’ 

Jan-Zis

Decanter admits that the toe-curling chemistry of Jefford/Kylie was a ‘happy accident’. But having seen subscriptions treble to ‘almost 50’ the magazine is planning to do more profiles where interviewer and subject have literally nothing in common.

‘Since most drinks writers know as much about the real world as Elon Musk it shouldn’t be too difficult,’ said Anter.

Decanter is continuing the series next month with Stephen Brook talking to Iron Maiden about beer and heavy metal, while over the summer Jancis Robinson is slated to interview Jay-Z in a hot-tub.

Anter said they were ‘hoping for an accompanying video where Beyoncé teaches her how to twerk.’

We heart celebs

‘Celebrity products are a great way of making wine accessible to ordinary grunts,’ said VIP wine expert Fawn R Slicker. ‘People really love the inherent glamour associated with buying an overpriced bottle made by a smug egomaniac with a completely unrelated skillset.

‘It makes them think ‘Well if they can have a $50m mansion without knowing what they’re doing, then maybe I can too.’

‘Obviously they can’t, because they’re just grunts. But hey… we’re selling the dream here.

‘And boy are people buying it.’

Help… Me…

Human rights groups, however, have expressed concerns at Decanter’s ‘journalist meets celeb’ features.

‘If you read between the lines of the Jefford piece, there was something not quite right about it,’ said Sal Vation for Amnesty International. ‘An article like this is very out of character for him, and friends have said that it didn’t seem like his florid style at all.’

The group suspects that the revered journalist may have been acting under duress and the whole thing was actually a coded cry for help.

‘Decanter could have kidnapped his family, or, worse, threatened him with having to read a whole issue of the magazine,’ said Ms Vation.

‘I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t cave in under that kind of pressure.’

Click here to read about how to write the perfect celebrity drinks story; or here to read about Dom Perignon’s embarrassing mid-life crisis fling with Lady Gaga