Other, lesser publications might have ‘exclusively revealed’ some of the questions from this year’s MW exam. But, thanks to having exclusive footage of a senior MW examiner mistakenly identifying a bottle of Yellowtail Merlot as Screaming Eagle, only Fake Booze has access to the answers.
You’re welcome.
So here, for anyone who’s still doomscrolling rather than pretending to enjoy their first family holiday in three years, are some of the most popular questions – and their answers – from this year’s MW exam paper.
- Outline the official MW regulations on expectoration
Anything under £20 a bottle should be spat. Above that, swallow if you think nobody’s looking.
- What are Liqueur de Drossage and Liqueur de Badinage?
Liqueur de Drossage is added to cheap nv fizz to remove any shred of character and ensure it tastes utterly ordinary. By contrast, Liqueur de Badinage is added to every bottle of champagne and allows producers to talk balls about it for hours.
- Name the three wine terms that receive no hits if you type them into the search function of PornHub.
Natural, organic and Jancis Robinson.
- Which is the only grape variety that used to be spat out, even when served as communion wine?
The textbook answer is Pais, which is reckoned to have been responsible for plummeting church attendances in Chile for 200 years. But (for extra marks) it’s also worth noting that a Township chapel in the Cape that accidentally served Pinotage to its congregation in 2005 kick-started a full-blown riot that lasted three days.
- Robert Mondavi was a member of the mafia. True or False.
False. He just acted like he was. But please don’t share this answer with any of his family in case they send me a fish through the post.
- Why was Gunther Arschloch thrown out of the Wachau producers association in 2021?
He suggested it would be cheaper and more ethical to use ‘lefties and students’ to patrol his organic vineyards for bugs than flocks of chickens.
- Wine writing is dead. Discuss.
Yes it is. But the question contains an inherent flaw, since it suggests it was ever alive in the first place.
- Outline the three cornerstones of Italian wine law.
Laws are theoretical. Rules are optional. Bribes are essential.
- How many people have passed the Master of Wine Exam since its inception in 1953?
458
- How many would you want to spend time with?
None.
Click here to learn why becoming an MW won’t get you laid.
