Brad Pitt to launch ‘Angelina You Cow’ champagne

Brad Pitt and cow
Cow pic: Jelle, Flickr

Brad Pitt is to launch a second label of his Fleur de Miraval champagne, Fake Booze has learned.

Called ‘Angelina You Cow’, the project is being described as a ‘very personal’ one for the star.

‘He was involved at every stage from picking to blending,’ said his agent, May Dupp. ‘But particularly in the brand concept.

‘In fact, the name was totally his idea.’

Candy de l’oeuil

Drinks magazines all over the world said that this second launch proved beyond doubt that Pitt was totally serious about his wine projects.

‘It’s a huge story and we’re really happy to give it lots of coverage,’ said Kashfur Content of Drinks Trade News International.

‘The fact that he’s a rare bit of eye candy in a world where most winemakers don’t even have teeth is just a happy coincidence.’

I don’t buy it…

However, not everyone was convinced by the star’s commitment.

‘Brad Pitt is a squillionaire Hollywood A-lister,’ said film critic Mo Bileov.

‘Making people think he would rather be shivering in a cellar in Epernay than drinking tequila out of the navel of a chorus girl by his pool in Beverley Hills is probably the performance of his career.’

Old clone

The new rosé champagne is made from a small plot of 57 year old ‘Pitt clone’ Pinot vines.

Gnarled and sturdy, the clone has fallen out of fashion of late.

‘The Pitt clone looks great,’ said champagne journalist Otto Lysis. ‘But it only produces something decent once every ten years.’

The wine, which will be made only in exceptionally traumatic years, has been described by critics as ‘masculine’, ‘older than you’d think’ and ‘quite bitter.’

Different cow

Lawyers for Ms Jolie have suggested that the new label is revenge for her decision to sell her stake in the brand to a multinational drinks business rather than her ex-husband.

However, a spokesman for Brad Pitt said it was nothing to do with the couple’s split but was, in fact, a reference to the star’s favourite childhood Friesian on the made up farm that he didn’t grow up in.

Click here to read about Angelina’s decision to sell her stake in Miraval, and here to read about how sherry will be James Bond’s next drink of choice

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