Businesses might be shut, economies in a tailspin and many hospital wards overflowing, but the Coronavirus has at least had a positive impact on one area: the wine trade’s teeth.
‘The average colour of a wine-trade employee’s teeth used to be somewhere between brown and black,’ said Mofaz Dentine of the College of Oral Hygiene in Bordeaux. ‘But over the last six months we’ve seen that spectrum shift from brown to yellow. In the absence of pollution by huge daily tastings, nature really is taking back control.’
An excited wine trade has responded by posting pictures of their ‘before and after’ smiles on social media along with the hashtag #mypearlywhites. A picture of Jancis Robinson’s smile received 3,000 likes on Twitter and made the evening news in China.
Writing on the MerchantsNet website, member ‘HornyandBarrow’ said ‘Before lockdown the pollution levels in my mouth were at dangerous levels. The kids used to joke that a weasel had crawled in there and died, and I hadn’t had congress with my partner since the problematic 2017 vintage.
‘But with no wines to taste I no longer have the breath of a hibernating grizzly and my wife and I are now expecting our third child. We’re going to call her Covidia.’
‘Nature has a way of resetting itself,’ said Dentine. ‘If the lack of tasting activity continues the wine trade’s teeth might even return to white – a colour of purity not seen since before the Industrial Revolution.’