Fake Booze launches the Crap Tasting Note of the Year awards

Here at Fake Booze, we know that if there’s one thing drinks lovers like more than writing abysmal tasting notes it’s laughing at other people’s.

And it’s to celebrate this noble pastime that we have decided to launch the Crap Tasting Note of the Year awards.

Or the ‘Crappies’ as they’re ALREADY BEING KNOWN…

Revenge is sweet

This is your chance to take revenge on that drinks description that was so pretentious it made you spray coffee all over your new laptop.

To vent your spleen at miguided poetry or robotic WSET rent-a-notes.

To give pomposity, sexism and stupidity in drinks descriptors the kicking they so richly deserve.

All welcome

Since crap tasting notes exist in every field, this is open to all drinks categories: wines, spirits, beer – even zero abv. If it’s a crap note, it’s in the mix.

Think of it like the Oscars, only instead of rewarding people for doing good stuff, we’re laughing at drivel. Actually, come to think of it, maybe it’s exactly like the Oscars…

How do I submit my entries of shame?

Put any truly terrible notes you’d like us to consider on Twatter, using the #crapnotes hashtag. Or if you follow us you can send us a DM on @fakebooze or via fake.booze on Insta. Let us know if you need us to follow you back.

Tell us when and where you saw the note in question and (if you want) why you think it’s so rubbish.

Feel free to name the perpetrator if you want, because otherwise how will these people ever learn? They’ll probably thank you. Eventually.

Here are the crapegories

This is the first time the drinks world has chosen to reward ineptitude – which is odd given how much of it there is to choose from. So we can’t be too precise at this stage about the categories.  

But we’d expect to be giving out awards for the following:

  • Most pompous
  • Most misguided
  • Most sexist
  • Most incomprehensibly scientific
  • Crappest food match suggestion
  • Dullest
  • Most generic
  • Most pointlessly long-winded

Red carpet slebs

We’ll announce the winners of the ‘Crappies’ this June at a glittering red-carpet occasion in LA. Or via a news story on the website. One or the other.

So tell your friends, tell your family and tell your colleagues – and let’s get those entries pouring in!

The Crappies – because bad notes deserve better…

Twitter: @fakebooze #crapnotes

Instagram: fake.booze #crapnotes