MW partners ‘nobly accepting sacrifice’ of home schooling

Pic: Rob 'homeschool' Johnson

The partners of people studying for the Master of Wine are some of the committed when it comes to home schooling, it has been revealed – despite huge disruption to their own lives.

According to a recent survey by Fake Booze, 99% of MW students said their partners, friends or flatmates were ‘dedicated’ or ‘very dedicated’ about pretending to be interested in wine and asking clueless questions provided they had unlimited access to the samples afterwards.

Heroic sacrifice

John Ligger told Fake Booze that his wife had been studying for her MW for 12 months, and he was prepared to carry on with home tasting ‘for years’ if necessary.

‘She’s at a really critical stage in her development,’ he told Fake Booze. ‘So it’s important that I support her however I can. Which basically means asking where Chardonnay is and making inaccurate assertions about oak use so I can hoover up the left-overs.

‘If careworkers can make sacrifices for the greater good at a time like this, then so can I.’

Hock for heroes

Ligger admitted that it had been a struggle to fit his day-job around the extra work.

‘I’ve missed so many deadlines because I’ve been opening bottles, removing bottles, talking bollocks or just plain drunk,’ he admitted.

‘But if I turn the camera off on Zoom then most of the time nobody knows I’m sitting in my pants drinking Nebbiolo at 11 in the morning.’

Three R’s

The positive attitude to home-schooling by the partners of MW students has not gone unnoticed in government.

‘Clearly to make home schooling more palatable for the parents, it’s obvious that we need to be teaching children about alcohol,’ said Prime Minister, Eton Twatt. ‘So from now on the Three Rs will cover Riesling, Rosé and Rbicides.

‘That should stop the bastards moaning about being locked up at home 24/7.’

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