Pol Roger has shocked the drinks world, with news that it is to replace its famous prestige Cuvée Winston Churchill with a label that ‘better fits the times’. The Cuvée Lord Boris Johnson is due to launch later this year.
‘People are always talking about iconic wines,’ said Pol’s MD Roger Paul. ‘But we think this is the first ironic one.’
Some critics have suggested that the move is a step down, and that Johnson lacks the gravitas to take Churchill’s place at the top of the Pol portfolio.
But the champagne house says the haystack-haired philanderer has been chosen entirely on merit as a titan of global politics.
‘He was on the front line in Ukraine, he fought and defeated Covid like a latter-day St.George, and just like Churchill he liberated the UK from the tyranny of European oppression,’ said Roger Paul.
‘And that’s before you even get onto his skills as an orator. The ‘Peppa Pig World’ speech is probably better than Churchill’s ‘fight them on the beaches’ effort which, frankly, wasn’t very funny at all.’
Get your Côte…
The new cuvée is to be a vintage Blanc de Blancs blended exclusively from grand cru grapes in Johnson’s favourite sites, Côte Blonde and Côte Brunette.
The exact number of parcels used, however, is a closely guarded secret, with Pol saying only that it comes from ‘as many different vineyard sites as the former Prime Minister has children’.
The Cuvée Lord Boris Johnson is leaving Pol Roger’s cellars in April, and should arrive in the UK in time for Christmas 2023 after being repeatedly held up at the border due to baffling import protocol.
The champagne house says that the six-month shipping schedule is a ‘fitting real-time tribute to all Boris’s great work in getting Brexit done’.
At €500 a bottle, critics have described the cuvée as ‘hugely expensive’, ‘not as good as it thinks it is’ and ‘exactly the same as Boris Johnson himself.’
XO for Xi
Other famous drinks have taken inspiration from Pol Roger’s new creation to make ultra-premium political-themed expressions of their own.
Remy has launched a Zero Covide XO to celebrate President Xi’s glorious success in training a virus to obey state security legislation.
While in Napa, Screaming Eagle has announced that it will be launching a ‘Screaming Idiot’ label in honour of Donald Trump.
Though as Fake Booze went to press the Republican party were unable to agree on whether the label is a tribute, an insult, or even what wine is in the first place.
Click here to read about the renaming of British sparkling wines as ‘Sovereign Method’ fizz.