‘Judas’ Robinson betrays wine trade with ‘greedy website sell-out’

Jancis Robinson
Dollars pic: 401kcalculator.org

The global drinks trade has today united to condemn Jancis Robinson over the sale of her news and reviews website to Redcurrant Dentures, a digital media company.

The sales price has not been disclosed but is rumoured to be ‘more than you’ll earn in a lifetime, sunshine’.

Prices of first growths jumped 10% at the news, with one chateau owner who regularly receives scores of 19 points from Robinson seen putting down a deposit on a third helicopter.


Wine lovers, however, were quick to condemn the sale.

‘Jancis Robinson? She’s more like Judas Robinson if you ask me!’ said Missy Rables of the Group of Socialist Wine Lovers (GOSWIL). ‘I thought she was one of us. Down on the barricades talking about Georgian kvevri wines and clones of Pinot Noir with the masses. And all along she was in cahoots with The Man.

‘She’ll be launching her own range of stemware next.’


A communiqué from Parker Roberts of the Group of Boozy Scribblers Hacks and Industry Taste Explainers (GOBSHITE) expressed his members’ ‘profound disappointment’ at the Purple Pages creator’s ‘unwillingness to let others share in her good fortune’.

‘We have always maintained a belief that our members should write according to their ability – which isn’t much – and take according to their need, which is usually a lot more,’ he told Fake Booze. ‘So we are very upset that Jancis is not going to do the decent thing and give us all an equal share of the proceeds.’

The decision was, he said, particularly cruel since he had ‘a roof that needs repairing before winter sets in.’


‘It’s disgusting that you can expect to pocket a fortune just by being globally respected and working day and night for several decades,’ added Fi Lance. ‘What kind of message does that send to today’s influencers?’

Exchanging large amounts of talent for large amounts of money was, she said, ‘profoundly wrong when so many people in this industry have neither.’


The new owners have moved quickly to reassure the drinks world that they have ‘huge respect’ for the site and will not be changing anything.

‘Apart from the content, contributors and ethos’.

Jancis Robinson herself was unavailable for comment, though sources said someone matching her appearance had been seen on a duplex balcony in Dubai firing champagne corks into the night sky and singing ‘We’re in the money’.

Fake Booze would like to put on record that it is very much up for sale, should the right buyer come along and that it is ‘funnier than Purple Pages’.

Click here to read about why all drinks writing is crap. According to drinks writers…

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