In a move to make its wines more accessible, fabled Burgundy producer Domaine de la Romanée-Conti has announced that it is now issuing NFTs of its grands crus.
‘There are, of course, only a limited number of actual bottles to go round’, said the estate’s director, Auberge de Villain, ‘but this way everyone can own a share in Romanée-Conti at a fraction of the price.
‘Plus of course we get to make even more money.
‘It’s a wine/win situation.’
Dog of a suggestion
The producer initially considered labelling its digital tokens CruFTs but was advised this was a barking mad idea, and settled instead for NFT which stands for ‘Not For Tasting’.
However, the French wine establishment has given the new tokens a cool reception, suggesting that they actually mean ‘Nuggets For Tossers’.
‘They are a perfect representation of the estate,’ sniffed French journalist Ray Vuedevin. ‘They are made up of three letters, arbitrarily expensive and far too complex for most people to understand.’
However, fine wine economist Anna Lyst, was more positive, describing it as ‘the perfect solution for all those rich idiots who buy Romanée-Conti as an investment without ever having any intention of actually drinking it.’
The NFTs will be available on the fine wine digital trading platform, the Place de la Boursin, where people can buy entire barrels of Echézaux using the specialist barrel-trading currency, Buttcoin.
Critics have criticised DRC for selling something that can’t actually be consumed. But Villain told Fake Booze that he had no problem with the idea.
‘The drinks world has a long history of selling things that it is impossible to drink,’ he said.
‘Look at Barefoot Merlot.’
Putting the ass into asset
Drinks journalist Francis Jobbinson also welcomed the move, saying that buying things that didn’t exist for inflated sums was ‘what keeps the Bordelais in ski-ing holidays every year.
‘And at least this way all the soul-free collectors and bean-counting investors can spend their time tracking the performance of their non-existent assets while the rest of us just get on and drink the bloody stuff.’
DRC says that keeping its digital tokens in the right conditions is essential if they are to achieve their full value.
The estate suggest storing them somewhere cold and dark such as their special digital NFT cellar or the soul of a supermarket buyer.
Eurocave has also released a dedicated online storage system which, it says, keeps encrypted tokens at precisely the level of gullibility required to part rich people from their cash.
Claims that the new venture might lead to the biodynamic domaine falling foul of Rudolf Steiner’s principles were dismissed by Auberge de Villain as ‘total horseshit’.
‘Our NFTs are created according to strict lunar principles,’ he told Fake Booze. ‘Mainly because the entire project is cold, lifeless and lacking in gravity.’
Click here to read about how Apple got in trouble with its ‘smart wine’ technology.