Is the world’s first ‘pet nad’ wine just bollocks?

pet nad goat

A maverick South African winery has made what it says is the world’s first wine to be aged in a nutsack.

Natural ethos

‘Scrote Rotie’ is the new ‘pet nad’ project from self-proclaimed Swartland ‘hipster vinstner’, Erwin Inkskin and features wines that have spent 6-12 months ageing in goats’ knackerbags.

‘It sounds weird, but actually it fits perfectly with the natural/hands-off ethos,’ he told Fake Booze.

‘After all, concrete eggs, oak barrels and cement tanks all require an industrialised process, whereas this is incredibly low intervention.

‘Though admittedly probably not for the goats.’

Artisanal process

In a highly labour-intensive process, the sacs are removed, steam cleaned and then inflated by hand to form a receptacle that is about the size of a demi-john.

Currently Inkskin has about 200 in his cellar, though admits that increasing significantly from here could be slow.

Crafting wine equipment out of animal genitalia was, he said, ‘a skillset that’s even more niched than producing a satirical drinks website, and probably about as profitable’.

Second fill

Inkskin says he is already playing with first and second-fill ballbags and has lodged an order with an elephant sanctuary so he can experiment with larger ‘scrotonneaux’ for his pet nad project in the future.

He is also hoping to have the term ‘vin de sac’ legally recognised.

‘It’s not too big a stretch,’ he said. ‘You’ve already got bag in box, so why not bag of boks?’

Open minded

Currently there are three wines in the range: a Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio in the whites, plus a Merlot.

‘Most educated wine consumers are really happy to give our pet nad wines a try,’ says Inkskin. ‘Though I’ve had a few who’ve been turned off by the idea of drinking Pinot Grigio.’

Just the beginning

Master of Wank, Anthony Drivelspouter MW said the wines opened up a ‘fascinating new frontier in the science of ageing’.

‘With their fleshy texture the impact of these vessels is quite different to oak or concrete,’ he told Fake Booze, ‘and there seem to be real differences between wines aged in French goat and those aged in American goat.’

MW candidates, he said, could expect to be tested on the new format straight away.

‘They shouldn’t have too much trouble with it,’ he said. ‘After all, they’re well used to talking bollocks.’

Click here to read about the rule-free ‘Easy Wine’ movement; and here to read about why waxing is unnatural and needs to stop.

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